Its week 15 of TNF and chairman, sepp Albano took over team selection from coach lector harris . He was busy with a date with the surgeon and going mental watching the mighty reds. Players started falling like flies on match day and coach sepp albano tried to bring in some new blood to fill the void,the fans were excited with a new signing coming in on deadline but unfortunately the paperwork couldn’t be complete or was it the money on offer just wasn’t enough.
The teams arrived just before the 9pm ko and coach seppy had managed to even up the teams with a late call up for the young and very tall ginger peter crouch. Alex Holder donned the gloves in the absence of king dong with matt and dazza in defence, ron jon weasly and joel in midfield and the goat up top for the non bibs, dazza was looking rather fetching in the new green D-WANKA shirt.
The bibs lined up with harry styles (now know as casper the friendly ghost and the wearer of the old white D-WANKA shirt next week) seppy and dan the man formed the defence with old man bazza and liam the goal machine in midfield and tom thumb leading the line.
The bibs came out the blocks quickly and caught a over confident non bibs on the hop and leaped into a 3-0 lead through bazza with his 1st goal this year,this was soon followed up by a fine goal from the goal machine liam running through a ragged defence and then bazza got his 2nd of the night,it must be said that alex was left massively exposed by some dodgy defending by the non bibs.He then made several fine De Gea like saves with his feet to hold the rampaging bibs at bay ,eventually he had to come out of goal after a tame shot from gaol machine melted his chocolate wrists and mountain matt went between the sticks.
Dazza started the comeback with a well taken goal from the edge of the box after a rebound,thats 3 in 2 goals for the Duracell bunny who again put in a box to box performance and covered 4.6k which started in the town centre and finish in the dark of the car park. The comeback was on and as old man holder started “blowing out of his arse” after his long trip to the USA in pursuit of a contract in the “Has been league of the MLS”. The goat woke up after his late arrival from baby class and problems with a dodgy car alarm to start scoring freely,with,it must be said,a fair bit of help from Casper in goal who’s leg turned into exto plasma with one a goat shot going straight through his leg,was this magic from the goat or was ron weasly waving his wand again? Shortly after this Casper was at it again,this time dropping a weak effort by goat and then some how throwing it between his legs and into the onion bag 3-3,this is where the 1st signs of bad language appearing”what a D-WANKA” said sepp.Soon the non bibs were stroking it around and getting cocky with shouts of “easy easy”coming from matt in goal,no one was sure if he meant the football or whether it was a reference to dazza late night car park activities. Soon it was 6-3 to the nons with the goat claiming 4 goals. Seppy head was about to explode and he then played like a headless chicken for 10 mins racking up 7k in this period for his team. Then the late tackles started with the goat making the worst one when he stuck a heavy hoof onto holders big toe,thats another toe nail gone,no card was shown. The nons were now showboating and jelly legs joel was playing for time after a soft shot from holders left boot was blocked by joel who went down as if hit with a trident missile. The match then turned on a few points,dan the man said enough of this shite and duly put the goat back in his pocket and the nons goal threat dried up and then after pressure from the ginger whippit,jelly lesg put into his own net ,6-4.The bibs now had there 2nd,3rd and 4th winds and the game started to turn in there favour,holder completed his trick with a drive that deflected off dazza calf then flicked old jelly legs and deceived the mountain man in goal,6-5.Then the goal machine finished coolly to make it 6-6.Dan then ventured forward to try his luck with a header just wide,get back in defence where you belong were the shouts from his team mates. Now the nons were getting frantic and the goat managed to pop out of dans pocket and go in goal freeing up the mountain man to try and do a late demolition job on the bibs and snatch(not a clit flicker reference)a win. To be fair it could have been a different outcome if the young holder had shown the same composure in front of goal as his old man,he picked the ball up out wide on the half way line ,bambozzled the tazmanian devil Marcus with some baymax like skills then powered away and put in a delightful curling shot over the rooted casper only to hit the post for the 3rd time in the match,surely it would have been a GOS contender.
The tension was now at an all time high with the language and tackles flying about,the magic man upset not only the bibs with a blatent pull on the goal machine when through on goal but also his own team with joel having a few choice words that turned the air blue,a yellow card was the least he deserved. The clock was ticking and a draw was looking likely, Que the top man who had his own isTOMbal moment to end the worst lose streak ever seen at TNF. Holder senior played a reverse ball and tom thumb was there to coolly finish past the hapless goat and then with only a few minutes left he finished again to claim the win for the bibs. The goat and his team mates were left dumbfounded at this amazing turn around,marcus then teased them by playing another minute of injury time before the final whistle was blown.
THE CAR PARK.
The usual gathering took place in the car park but without any eggs or biscuits,sort that out dazza,monies were paid and alex witnessed some of the worst language his young ear have ever heard,sepp announced”sorry lads I was shite tonight” and then presented casper with the D-WANKA shirt.The mountain man was obviously not a happy man as he paid his fees and promptly left in his van,you could heard his words of “my team were a bunch of c**** tonight” all the way down gypsy lane. Well played bibs and hopefully a few of the players in the treatment room will return.
There was a rumour that there was massive money put on a non bibs win with odds of 66-1 being offered by the TNF bookie and apparently polish dave had sold his car ,house, wife and one son(the non TNF player)and had put the lot on.if anyone has a spare room please let dave know.
I have done my best but I am not up to the granite or journo johns level in reporting,hope I got everything. cheers
ps.alex spent 2 & 1/2 hours in a&e this morning and has fractured his chocolate wrist.