Toe punt alley

match day 22.

The text went out and then the players starting falling like flies,player were spreading themselves all over Europe and Journo John was on midnight duty dury service 🍼💦😉. The numbers were low with only 11 players not in coffins,the selection coach had to make a late plea to steve to let the goat out of the barn to even up the numbers 6 v 6.

The teams were picked and it looked good on the high tech blackboard at the TNF headquarters ,but that is when the 1st of a long list of controversy started. Calls from rebellious players(magic man) were taken into account and there was calls for Joel to be moved across for Dan the man,Joel accepted and change his mind and gave them Ethan.




The game started at its usual low rate poor quality with passes going astray and a general lack of composure on the ball.matt and baz who donned the gloves had to make a few saves but nothing major as the finishing was at a usual shocking standard. As Marcus started to get frustrated at this lack of quality he started going forward in search of the 1st goal leaving Dan the man a bit exposed,the goat then took advantage of the space and after a shocking tackle on Dan,which should have seen yellow,opened the scoring with the 1st of 5 toe punts that hit the onion bag😳⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️10 mins later Dan had to hobble into goal and bazza was out at 4-0 down,the goat was now gloating and feeling sick at the same time.joel was now starting to lose his head as the goat broke all the TNF offside and fair play rules by pretending to be ill and goal hanging,shouts of you cheating 🗣C*** were heard and Joel spent the the next 5 mins in a very strange tangle trying to kick the goat,weird😳.bazza pulled one back with a good shot to finally beat Matt 4-1 ,the nons were back in it,not for long,the goat got his massive big toe to the ball again after turning up his own arse 20 times to score his 5th of the night 5-1,more controversy now with the goat hand balling to receive a yellow which should have been red,poor finishing continued until Joel with a payet like left footer flew past Matt to make it 5-2,Dave lewandoski then came to life,beating 3 players and coolly slotting under the keeper with his right foot on!!! The bibs were holding on but the bibs then counter attacked after another toe punt pass from tom went wrong,Dazza(this weeks mom)got the ball and fed Ethan who charged up the left wing and unleashed an unstoppable left foot drive into the top corner,game over but still enough time for more controversy,with the nons all up attacking when Ethan pushed sir seppy in the back fed the ball to the magic man who ran forward unchallenged to finish with 23:5 seconds left on the clock,seppy didn’t allow the goal,6-3 game over.

In the dressing room(car park).

The usual banta resumed,mainly aimed at the goat,the goat kept telling  anyone who would listen that he had scored 5,the committee have watched the video and decided that all 5 goals were offside and toe punts and they can confirm that the goat is Defo a lazy 🗣C***. The final controversy was that the result has been over turned by the committee as they realised that the proper kit wasn’t being worn by the bibs.

Rule no.489/a:- all players on the bibs team(including the keeper) must be in matching bibs.

sorry Matt 3-0 result awarded to the non bibs😉

Any  appeal  must be done by post to TNF headquarters with video evidence.

Enjoy your weekend boys👍🏽🍾🍼💦⚰🍻⚽️⚽️⚽️ Come on England

Toe punt alley

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