Hammer Horror No-Show

As Sunderland secured Premier league status at the Stadium of Light this week, Taunton’s Stadium of Night was once again the centre of attention as TNF matchday 19 took shape. Player numbers were up this week.  Team selection was in the hands of Tinkerman Bazza, this week using  individual player notes to aid with formation tinkering.  A smart move only undermined by late selections and injuries, requiring the late return of the notepad to accommodate the returning Ethan. The Goat also confirmed late, but Sepp advised that “it’s unlikely that we will need the Goat tonight.”   With continued disquiet (ie farting) about beet juice dosing, the teams lined up as follows:

Bibs: Bazza, Kev, Matt, Dazza, Joel, Jon C, Dave, The Goat

Shirts: Ads, Granite, Dan, Marcus, John H, Liam, Ethan, The Hammer

Christian was absent, apparently on a busman’s holiday in North Wales in search of stalactites dangling down into moist, dark passages. Potholing that is. (What were you thinking!) . He was no doubt wearing protective clothing, and given the growing injury toll attributable to Joel, there were calls for elbow pads to be worn pre-match.

The Match

In another one sided affair the Bibs ran riot early on streaking into a 5 goal lead, the highlight being a screamer from Joel. Hitting a sweet right foot late curler from close to the fence about 30 yards out, the ball was heading just wide of Ads left post, but late curl had it hitting the inside of the post and in. A quality goal and GOS contender.

The Shirts meanwhile appeared not to realise that Olly was AWOL, with passes going astray up front, as Ethan toiled fruitlessly while the Shirts defence was run ragged by Dave and Jon C.  Sepp, growing more frustrated by the minute, was running around the pitch like a Duracell bunny on speed.  Is that the effect of beetroot juice? Confusion reigned as Marcus played every position at once.  The returning Harris just looked perplexed.

At 5 -0 it was time for the Goat to switch sides, and instantly the Shirts had more about them, with the Goat pulling one back almost immediately.  With the extra man available, Harris now started to pull the strings in midfield, but there was always the risk of a counterattack from the dangerous Pole supported by the Magic Man with late runs from midfield.  The Goat toiled but as he tired, Dazza outpaced him, with the Goat bouncing off the Baymax three times in an increasingly desparate attempt to win the ball.  Harris scored a fine headed goal, but while the second half was much more even, the final score was 7-4 Bibs, with the goals as follows:

Bibs: Joel, Jon C (3), Dave (2), Steve

Shirts: John H (2), The Goat (2)

The absence of the Hammer was the big difference in this game, witht he Bibs taking advantage of having the extra man and striker in the opening period. This was truly  a Hammer Horror No-Show.


With the match report once again delayed, speculation turned to the possible return of Journo John to the reporting hot-seat next week.  Having topped the totaliser, he was awarded the wanka shirt for next week, but this man clearly needs to be doing something else with his hands. Olly was awarded the second Wanka shirt for going AWOL.

Enjoy what’s left of the weekend chaps.


Hammer Horror No-Show

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