It’s week 14 of TNF and a trip to the Parc des Princes in Paris for the Champions League Quarter Final first leg, with the PSG Bibs playing at home to the visiting City Shirts. With TNF strikers dropping like flies, there’s no Goat or Hammer this week, so the teams line up as follows, but as would become evident during the game, Coach Harris had mixed up Oscar and Liam on the team sheet:
Expectations pre-match were for a low scoring game, with all but one recognised striker out. Joel was stepping into the Goat’s shoes as Zlatan, forgetting that Goats don’t wear shoes. The home side were clear pre-match favourites on account of being 7 v 5 and a half.
And so to the game. City were quickly into the attack, retaining possession well and creating numerous chances for Rosler in the opening period. The German was wasteful though, with Ethan Bats keeping out anything on target. Young Oscar Lee was relishing the space afforded by the reduced team sizes, and knocking it about well. PSG were restricted to counterattacks, with Granite Watson and Sepp Phelan snuffing out most danger, with Kev Corrigan playing as sweeper keeper mopping up anything that got through the back line.
Only one team looked like scoring, and eventually the goal came, courtesy of star striker o.g., who’s putting in an appearance near the top of the goals scored column this season. But after that one, City continued to waste opportunities. Surely PSG would make them pay for this profligacy? They created a few chances, but Kev was in control, and rescued by the woodwork when Joel Zlatan beat him.
Oscar soon popped up with a second after good work, cutting inside to finish well, with Rosler adding a third soon after. City in total control, it appeared, but PSG pulled one back with Dazza Makalele’s first of the season.
PSG were looking ragged, as City retained possession well, and Rosler managed a second to make it 4-1. PSG pulled another one back when the Dong went walkabout and Jon Jerkoff slotted into the empty net.
With the game in the final quarter, Liam Kinkladze came to life. Sensing that PSG were beaten, he ran directly at Danny Luiz and the rest of the PSG defence, time and again, scoring 4 goals in quick succession, two of them absolute crackers into the roof of the net past keeper Bats. The pre-match prediction by Granite that there was only one winner of that contest was spot on.
PSG were demoralised, but Makalele managed one more to make the final score 8-3 to City, with the second leg surely a formality after an all round superior performance from a depleted team.
The cheese eating surrender monkeys lived up to their nation’s reputation yet again.
Post match analysis
A welcome development this week was the absence of handball shouts!
Interviewed after the game, Jerkoff admitted the Bibs were “chasing shadows all game, not making tackles, not tracking players, not staying in formation, not hitting the target, not making passes, blaming each other (not to feet!!!), lost our heads,lack of effort, lack of passion, no communication .” Proving that you can lose badly even without Tom.
Phelan for City, never known for his modesty, pointed out that City were superior in every department. Zlatan was very quiet!
Baymax earned the new large green Wanka shirt for glory in defeat with his two goals leading to a beaming smile in the car park later – or was that cos Joel stayed behind with him? There was no sign of the Baymax basted lamb after his Welsh break last week; where is he keeping it?
Next week sees the return of a few regulars, with the Goat back from Aintree although possibly with poorer eyesight after what he’s seen up there, and Bazza back from the land where washed up footballers end their careers. Who knew he’d be back?
Enjoy the weekend boys!